VOLUME 10
wretch that I am. Alas! father Traves, (let me so call you,) I am hardhearted, there was never any
so obstinate, so unkind, against so loving, so merciful, so gracious, so good, so beneficial a Lord,
yea, a Father, as I, wretch and most miserable sinner, am. This I speak, but not of humility, but of
hypocrisy, yet I speak truly. I pray thee, good Father, for Christ's sake, I may think it truly; as I
write it even of arrogancy, so it is. Therefore pray and cry for me. Here be such goodly, godly,
and learned sermons, which these uncircumcised ears of mine hear at the least thrice a week,
which were able (the great loving mercy of God offered to me in them, I mean) to burst any
man's heart, to relent, to repent; to believe, to love, and to fear that omnipotent gracious Lord:
but my adamantine, obstinate, most unkind, ingrate, unthankful heart, hearing my Lord, which is
the Lord over all lords, so graciously, so lovingly, vouchsafe by so many his instruments to
speak, to call, to cry unto me, now by his law, now by his threats, now by his gospel, now by his
promises, now by all his creatures, to come, to come even to himself, I hide me with Adam in the
garden; I play not only Samuel running to Eli, but I play Jonas running to the sea, and there I
sleep upon the hatches, tumbling in Jezebel's bed, (quod est afflictio maxima,) until it please God
to anoint mine eyes 'collyrio,' until it please him to raise up a tempest, to turn and look upon me,
as Luke saith he did on Peter. For, O Lord, it is thy gift, and cometh of thee, and of thy mere
grace; it cometh not of man, it cometh not of works, to repent, to believe, to fear, and to love.
Work thou therefore in me, for Jesus Christ's sake, which am thy creature, and most unthankful,
hypocritical servant, not when I will, nor as I will, but when thou wilt, even that which may be
most to the glory of thy name. Amen. What should I write? nay, why do I not pluck these same
words and paper in pieces? for I write altogether of hypocrisy and arrogant presumption. I will
confess it, (thou wicked spirit, the Lord judge thee,) I will confess it; it is most true, John Traves;
I but only write it, for it is not I, it is Hypocrisy. 'Scientia' (if I had it) 'inflaret,' O Lord, grant me
thy grace, and leave me not to mine own judgment and reason. Hypocrisy, arrogancy, and
obstinate security environ me: yet I feel them not. The Lord deliver me! Pray, pray for me. Give
God thanks for me. O Lord, even 'tua fiat voluntas:' unlock this mine heart, thou which hast the
key of David, which openest only, that I may desire to have the desire of the glory of thy name,
of repentance, faith, &c. Pray for me, and be thankful for me, O father Traves, and write to me.
Your letters I desire more to see, than any man's living. Let me have them therefore as you may,
but your prayers at all times, that God would open mine heart to feed and taste of these
comfortable places of Scripture (which to me are locked): memento 'Jesum Christum
resurrexisse ex mortuis.' This text as a text of most comfort (as it is indeed, and, when God will, I
shall feed on it) did Paul send to Timothy to be his comfort in all places. For our salvation (this
day of resurrection) is nearer now than when we believed. Therefore, 'qui perseveraverit salvus
erit.' For 'consummabitur prævaricatio,' saith Daniel, 'finem accipiet peccatum, delebitur
iniquitas, et adducetur justitia sempiterna. Deus enim ipse veniet et salvabit nos. Veniens veniet,
et non tardabit, et quandocunque manifestatus fuerit vita nostra Christus, tunc et nos
manifestabimur cum illo in gloria. Semel enim oblatus est ut multorum peccata tolleret, rursus
absque peccato conspicietur iis qui ilium expectant in salutem. Sic semper cum Domino erimus:
proinde consolemini vos invicem mutuo sermonibus hiis.' O Lord, open mine eyes, which see
nothing of the great comforts in these thy most rich words: open mine eyes, good Lord, 'ne
nunquam obdormiam in morte.' Pray for me, and commend me to your good bed-fellow, 'et
omnibus in Christo fratribus osculo sancto.' Thus I make an end, (for it is time, you may say,)
and I pray you still, water Sir Thomas Hall, unto whom I have sent a fair Testament both in
English and Latin, if this bringer will carry it. And I have herewith sent you a letter, which first
peruse and read, and, when you have so done, abhor not me, but my wickedness, and pray for
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